Sunday, October 28, 2012

SEC Fan's Guide to Mizzou Baseball: Fashion Police

To really understand the importance of game day attire in the SEC, it's essential that you spend the next half hour scrolling through this 20+ page message board thread at, titled Now that they're in the SEC, are Mizzou fans going to make an attempt to not dress like douchebags?  Or you can just read some snippets here, along with my answers:

OBReb6: I went to the Mizzou-Colorado game in 2010 and I've never seen so many jerseys in my life. Even the fraternity guys were wearing them. It was disgusting.

Worse than that is that the women didn't even look like they made an attempt to look somewhat attractive. Hoodies, t-shirts, jeans, flatbills, etc. Have some respect for yourselves women of missouri.

Is there going to be some sort of movement to conform to the style of other SEC schools? Or are y'all going to continue to look like white trash?
Trrip: Yes, Reb, we're going to continue to look like white trash. That is certainly better than taking fashion advice from someone at Ground Zero for White Trash.
OBReb6 (again): I'm not talking about wearing a bowtie and blazer, just have a little respect for yourself and wear a collared shirt. There's nothing more sad than a grown man wearing the jersey of a college kid.
Trrip: At Mizzou Baseball games we wear whatever we want to wear. Usually it comes in layers, so we can be prepared for the weather to go from icebox to suntans between the 1st and 9th inning.  And if we wear a jersey, we don't steal it from a college kid.  We buy it ourselves.
Numberwang: Spend 99 cents on a can of starch and spend 3 minutes ironing a shirt
Trrip: I've never touched a can of starch in my life, let alone used one. And my KU SUCKS t-shirt is wash-and-wear.  I'm sure my R-KANSAS SUCKS t-shirt will be as well.
MasterofSinanju: I'm not a fashion model, but there are some rules you have to follow to wear a jersey properly.
  1. Always tuck, and of course make sure the jersey is clean.
  2. Wear a real jersey, not one of those Walmart specials with big arse logos on the sleeve.
  3. SEWN numbers. GTFO with that screen printed shite.
  4. If you're traveling with the team, yes wear your road whites.
  5. Names on the back are okay, as long as it's not YOUR name.
  6. If you wear a throwback, make sure it's era appropriate - no names if the oldtimer didn't have it back then.
  7. Watch what you wear underneath - remember that it shows through.
  8. Wear the right size - it's supposed to hang a bit loose, not constrict your breathing.
Trrip: You lost me at #1. You tuck in your jersey? Are you 80?
There is no traditional way to dress for a Mizzou Baseball game. The very idea of a traditional dress code seems absurd to most Mizzou fans.

Come to a game at Taylor Stadium and you will see all of the following:
  • Well-to-do alumni / team dads dressed in upscale Mizzou polos and khakis
  • Their wives will most often not be in dresses.  They will be in appropriately expensive outfits that are both stylish and warm
  • Most adult (non-student) fans will show up in whatever they pulled out of the closet that day, which will likely be jeans or khakis, MU t-shirts and hoodies, or whatever they want to wear
  • An astonishing number of male college students show up in shorts and t-shirt, hoodie or jersey, even when the temperature is low enough to freeze your knees.
  • The college girls will do what nearly all college girls do - show up to a baseball game in full make-up and their best most flattering t-shirt or jersey.  Occasionally you'll see a coed in a dress if they're coming from or going to some other event
  • No bow ties.  Unless you're 80.
Actually, that list pretty well describes what people wear to church on Sunday morning in CoMo, too.  The preacher at my church announced once that "next week will be dress-down Sunday".  I looked at my friend next to me, a man in his early 30's with a wife and 4 kids, who was dressed in a t-shirt he picked up off the floor and cargo shorts and flip flops.  I told him, "You're going to have to come naked."

By the way, he's one of the ministers.

In other words, we don't care what fans in the rest of the SEC wear.  In CoMo, we wear whatever we want to.

Oh, and I saw this photo somewhere in that message board thread.  I know those guys.  The one with "I" on his chest and a hand print on his face is now an electrical engineer for a major company in Kansas City. He does not dress like that when he comes to church.  Well, not often.

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